The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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