I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
