dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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