Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't deserve a penis
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
