I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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