we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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