you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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