All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Michael Bay diarrhea
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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