yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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