You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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