Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
