I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just pee around me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
