I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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