the condom got lost in my hair
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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