Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
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I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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