There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
