Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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