In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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