So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
where are my eyebrows?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
