It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Are my feet made of real feet?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
