yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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