some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
