he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
