i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
