If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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