Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
