Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
