i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
