I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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