is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
