Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
