it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it because I queefed?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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