okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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