Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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