I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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