We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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