Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
