Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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