It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
