Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
