If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
