Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
