my mouth tastes like poor choices
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
