Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm really busy with my period
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
