You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Small penises have feelings too.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
