just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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