I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
