I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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