I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
