Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
