nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
