Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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