So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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