i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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