No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
